Imagine if you can sitting around thinking your life is normal and wonderful. Imagine, no chaos, no war, no fighting amongst families, and everyone smiles. now. imagine thinking your children are happy children, not a care in the world, getting what they want and appreciating it, loving you for working hard all your life to give those things to them. imagine children working hard in school, getting good grades, going on dates, going to parties that don't involve alcohol, drugs and sex. imagine you and your friends getting together for the hell of it and everyone is happy and healthy and you are all having a great time. imagine life without secrets, pain and conflict. without medications, without accidents, without missing those you love, without a child that tells you they hate you for giving them everything in the world. Its such a peaceful world where everyone loves each other and doesn't think of themselves but of only the needs of those around them. Its where i so want to live and if ignorance is bliss, why aren't there a whole hell of a lot more people smiling?
so much shit its a wonder i haven't lost my mind. especially after this
past weekend. my best friends, bonnie and kristin along with myself and
Miss A planned a trip to NYC for Saturday. It was to be an all day
trip, starting at 1 am Sat morning to catch the train in DC at 330 am.
we wouldn't get back there until 4 am Sunday morning. literally 24
hours. we got up, got out the door, got on the train, got to NYC, had
breakfast and got a call. my daughter tasha and bonnie's daughter,
kaitlyn had snuck out right after we left to go to a party, got drunk
and high and got back home around 630. ok. so we would deal with it
when we got home, make them get their arses up and work the rest of the
day. no problem right? we got on the bus tour (top of the bus, its a
must do if you are ever in NYC.... COLD AS F*** but worth the money you
spend) anyways, you can get on it or off anytime during the day. we
stopped at battery park, walked around, took pics, got back on the bus
to go back to times square to start the day. we got to go to Toys R Us
(not a big deal right? WRONG!... they have an indoor carousel, a
lifesized barbie house and a moving T-rex.too freakin cool!) got to
stop at Hard Rock and then were IN LINE at Mme Toussards.... the phone
rang... it was lucy. the kids (kaitlyn and tasha) ran away, the cops
were called, we went to the train station, changed our tickets, went
home. longest freakin trip ever ok? its only 3 hours long but goddess
it felt like 10. we finally get home, no kids. we sit up all night,
thinking the girls are sneaking back in because they thought we were
still in NYC. listening to each sound outside of the house, pacing,
going nuts. the cops bring the girls home at 1030 am Sunday morning.
After the much ranting and crying, we come to "why did you run away
girls?" the answer we recieve is "fuck you mom, i hate you" more tears,
more ranting, more arguing, and then we find out one of the best
friends has 2 incurable diseases that at any time could kill her so
thank you for that last phrase. after things cooled down, everyone goes
their separate ways, trying to get some sense of normalcy out of our
lives, the other best friend, Kristin, gets in a car accident going
home because she fell asleep at the wheel 2 miles from her house....
BECAUSE SHE DIDNT SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE!!! the kids still act like
nothing changed, try to be lovey dovey and go on with their lives and
we are sitting here just waiting for somethign else to happen.
how
much stress can a person take before crashing hard???? i've had chest
pains (they've subsided now,) the bp is way up, and my TMJ is acting up
thanks to oh the STRESS. so please tell me... how much are we supposed
to take????
